7 Management Tips Tested on 4 Year Olds

I came down to breakfast today to see a hand written note with childcare tips. My wife had been out the night before with a good friend who we've known for 15 years. Between them they have 7 kids.

On reading the note at first I thought it was a list of childcare tips. After a moment I realised I was mistaken. It was a set of management tips.

Here's the note...

7 Management Tips Tested on 4 Year Olds

And in case you can't read it here is what it says. 7 tips. I added my own explanations.

1. "Squabbling place" - take time out to discuss why they are arguing

This is the pub. If you can't find a pub a coffee shop might do, but alcohol is always more effective than caffeine. A good old chat solves most arguments. Don't go to bed angry.

2. New rule, repeat new rule

If you want to have your people understand the rules, repeat them until they start saying them back to you. You probably need to say it at least 10 times before anyone hears and 20 times before they listen.  Maybe 30 times and they'll understand. 40 times and it might get done that way.

3. Positive praise over a negative situation

Kill negativity with positivity. This is the Richard Branson smile rather than the Alan Sugar frown. Find the bright spots and amplify them, the negativity dries up like a puddle on a summer's day.

4. Sticker for own bum wiping

In business you need to wipe your own bum. No-one else wants to do it for you, so get used to doing your own job. Likewise, make sure your team do their job and that you don't do it for them. Praise any sign that this is happening. It takes 2 years to teach a toddler to wipe their bum properly. It can take longer for managers to let their team do the work.

5. Clear up own mess (e.g split milk)

If you fuck up, clear it up. There's no better way to a P45 than to let others clear up your shit.

6. Own breakfast (youngest 4)

Solve your own problems and encourage your team to do the same. Just don't throw them in the deep end until you've taught them to swim.

7. Find own clothes night before and layout

Encourage your team to make their own plans. Not making plans is not acceptable, however just as kids will get dressed more willingly if they set out the clothes, so will your team be more likely to deliver on plans if they do them, not you.

I can't believe my wife and her pal were talking about work all night. Some people!